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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29264235">Hurting and healing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereforthehurts/pseuds/hereforthehurts'>hereforthehurts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Owl House (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, Whump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:28:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29264235</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereforthehurts/pseuds/hereforthehurts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Luz's memories weren't always kind to her, but that was okay. Hurting and healing had always been a natural cycle in life, anyway.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eda Clawthorne &amp; Luz Noceda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hurting and healing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novelist_Becca/gifts">Novelist_Becca</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>MOM EDA SUPREMACY [bangs pots and pans] AGAIN</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Luz doesn’t expect her world to be turned around so suddenly.</p><p> </p><p>A hundred and eighty degrees, no less—how could it not? She was supposed to be here learning magic, not teaching it.<br/>
<br/>
And now here she is, sitting on the floor with the owl lady—the most powerful witch in all Boiling Isles—teaching her how to write glyphs instead of casting it. Teaching her how to do magic. Teaching her how to be human.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Yellow post-it papers were sprawled out all over the floor, filled with failed circles and smudged up drawings. Eda herself laid out on top of most of it, staring at the ceiling, looking bored out of her mind and tired and… hopeless.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p><em>The owl lady, </em>Luz thinks, <em>most powerful witch in all the Boiling Isles.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</em>Or, <em>was</em>, anyway.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Come on, Eda,” Luz groans, “we’ve been doing this for hours.”<br/>
<br/>
“Exactly,” she sits up abruptly. “What time is it? You haven’t had lunch yet.”<br/>
<br/>
“Eda,” Luz chides, “come on, we’re over this. You said you wanted to learn magic with me!”<br/>
<br/>
“I did, and I will, <em>but,</em>” The woman smirks, “for now, I’m right. <em>You</em>, miss, you need to eat.”<br/>
<br/>
“Fine.”<br/>
<br/>
“No magic used,” Eda jokes.<br/>
<br/>
She couldn’t help but smile at that. “No magic used.”<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Luz slumps into the floor herself as soon as Eda had left the room, staring at the ceiling just like Eda had earlier. Thinking.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
What now?<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
The corruption didn’t drain all of Eda’s magic at first—not immediately, at least. The first days she was back, she relocated the house somewhere safer, so that Belos and his goons won't find them. The next days after that, she spent all the magic she has left casting protection spells around the perimeter, to protect them.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
And the days after that, she collapsed completely.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Luz stayed by her side on those days, nursing her back to her feet. Not moving, not leaving, not letting her go. It was at those times Luz realized just how much Eda had loved her. How far the woman was willing to go to protect her.<br/>
<br/>
(And Luz is willing, too. She just doesn’t know <em>how.)<br/>
<br/>
</em><br/>
Luz sits up again, staring at the mess of post-its and pencils for a moment, before laying back down on the wooden floor again.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<em>What now?<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</em>Nothing.<br/>
<br/>
Nothing happens, now. She couldn’t even leave the house safely anymore, even with almost the whole citizen of Boiling Isles supporting them. “<em>They’re starting a rebellion,” </em>she remembered Eda telling her one night. The old Eda would’ve been beaming, would’ve had fire in her eyes when she says it.<br/>
<br/>
But the new Eda looked rather grim and worried.<br/>
<br/>
<em>“Oh? Isn’t that good, then?” </em>Luz tries to get her to smile. <em>“If they start a revolution to overthrow the whole Belos coven, we don’t have to be hide anymore. We’d be safe, and free.”<br/>
<br/>
“Maybe,” </em>Eda nods. Her eyes doesn’t move away from the piece of parchment she was holding in her hands. <em>“Or, it’ll get Belos mad, made think we’re the roots of it—we <strong>are </strong>the roots of it—and then he’ll hunt for us harder than he’s already doing, and then… what?”<br/>
<br/>
</em>The new Eda was fiercer. Darker, angrier… sadder.<br/>
<br/>
The new Eda doesn’t have the spark in her eyes anymore. All that Luz could see in them was the monochrome in one eye, and the grief in the other.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>But Luz couldn’t blame her, either. What else would she have done? They both almost lost each other—it was only natural, to become more protective of each other. Because if Luz lost her…<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<em>She could still replay Eda’s beastly shriek so clearly in her head. </em></p><p> </p><p>…she doesn’t know what she would do.<br/>
<br/>
<em><br/>
Bright blue ropes dragging her away as she tried to claw out of it—<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</em>She’s lost her once.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<em>—Luz coming back to an empty house, the magic all gone without her. The dark and silence pulling her in, the hollow feeling in her chest while she sobs into King’s tiny body.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</em>She doesn’t think she’d be able to feel the pain of losing Eda again.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<em>What if she does, lose her again? It had been her fault the first time—because she wasn’t careful enough, because she couldn’t stop playing hero for once. Just <strong>once.<br/>
<br/>
</strong></em><br/>
Thick pain rises in her throat. <em>No. No. Not this again. </em>Luz sits up abruptly, lightheaded and suffocating, the image of Eda’s petrifying playing over and over in her head like a broken record.<br/>
<br/>
<em>Not again. Not again. Just breathe.<br/>
<br/>
</em>She couldn’t stop it.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
It sinks in slowly, the cold seeping into her skin, her chest. She doubles over and chokes on air for a while, eyes shut, tears spilling out of her cheek, dripping to her lap. The panic holding her down like platinum chains, and she couldn’t get out of it, she couldn’t—<br/>
<br/>
“Luz!”<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<em>It’s not Eda, </em>a voice in her head somehow warns. <em>It’s not her, it’s not her, run—<br/>
<br/>
</em>“<em>No!” </em>she screams when all that she saw was dark blue hair hanging over her. “Don’t—don’t do that, don’t touch me—”<br/>
<br/>
“Luz, I’m trying to help—”<br/>
<br/>
Things were happening too fast, it’s all starting to overwhelm her. There’s rushed footsteps, the door slamming open, items falling down and hitting the floor. A guttural growl, and then “<em>Don’t touch her, get away from her, get out—”<br/>
<br/>
</em>It’s too fast, <em>too much, too—<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</em>“Luz. Luz, Luz, Luz—hey, it’s okay, what happened? What did she do? Luz, what happened?” Warm hands squeezed on her wrists tightly, then her shoulders. “Luz. Luz, I need you to breathe.”<br/>
<br/>
She tries to. A hitched breath, then another, the knots in her chest slowly unwinding itself. She buries herself into Eda’s dress, squeezing the ripped hems, trying to get back in control of herself.<br/>
<br/>
“Luz,” Eda presses on again. “What did Lillith do, Luz?”<br/>
<br/>
“Nothing,” She manages to choke up, “it wasn’t—wasn’t her.”<br/>
<br/>
“If she ever dares to touch you—”<br/>
<br/>
“It <em>wasn’t</em> <em>her,” </em>Luz says, louder. Speaking hurts her chest, and she still couldn’t breathe. The sobbing made her feel lightheaded all over again, her body threatening to give up on her and shut down. “Please stop—stop talking—”<br/>
<br/>
“<em>Hey,” </em>Eda manages to grab her before she falls on her back. “Okay. I’m sorry, just—just try to breathe. It’s okay. I’ve got you. Deep breaths.”</p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
She tries to, again. It gets easier with every painful breath she takes. Her tears soak into the fabric of Eda’s dress, but the woman didn’t seem to mind.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
There’s shushing, and then Eda’s hands tugging her up when she unconsciously slip off. Gentle fingers running on her hair, rubbing her back, her shoulder blades.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Luz hadn’t felt that safe in a long time.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
She starts talking when she was ready—yes or no questions, at first, pressing on the <em>no </em>when Eda angrily asks about if Lillith had ever dared to hurt a single hair on her. Then, harder ones, like, “what happened, then? What caused this?”<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Because Luz doesn’t know the answer to that, either.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
So, they talked about something else. The glyphs, the tons of short pencils they’ve used that ended up in King’s room, neatly stacked in the corner and worryingly <em>sharp </em>for just a pencil (what <em>is</em> he planning?). They talked about the ridiculous amount of papers they've used for their glyph practices, and the bird nest building right outside of Luz’s window—anything.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“Lillith tried to help me,” Luz finally spoke up. “You shouldn’t treat her so harshly, you know. She’s trying.”<br/>
<br/>
“Well, she still cursed me,” Eda shrugs, “and tried to kill you, more than once. So don’t tell me about what I should do with her. I <em>know </em>what I’m doing.”<br/>
<br/>
<em>“</em>Yeah, I know.” It was hard to take Eda’s angry words seriously when the woman was holding her so softly, in her arms. “Will you… do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive her, though?”<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t know.” Eda says. “Maybe. But not now.”<br/>
<br/>
“Soon?”<br/>
<br/>
“Not that, either.”<br/>
<br/>
“That’s okay.” Luz nods, “forgiving is hard.”<br/>
<br/>
“So does forgetting.”<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah.”<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Silence.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t think I could do that,” Luz whispers, “forget.” The pain in her chest was back, and so is the hot tears that pools in her eyelids. “I lost you while you were trying to save me.”<br/>
<br/>
“I lost <em>you </em>while you were trying to save <em>me</em>,” Eda repeats.<br/>
<br/>
<em>And she was right. </em><br/>
<br/>
“I don’t think I could stop doing that, saving you.” Luz tells her.<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t think I could stop doing that either.”<br/>
<br/>
“I guess we just love each other too much then.”<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah.”<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
They look up at each other for a moment and breaks into a giggling fit.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
“God,” Luz breathes and pulls away, “that was so…”</p><p>“Awkward?”<br/>
<br/>
“…cringe.”<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t know what that means.”<br/>
<br/>
Luz laughs even harder.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
And then everything was okay again, for now, and that was enough. Because life is a constant cycle of just that—giving and receiving, laughing and crying, hurting and healing. So it was okay, to cry. To hurt.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Because as long as she has Eda, no matter how many times she gets hurt, Eda would always be there to heal her back.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://hereforthehurts.tumblr.com/">my tumblr blog !!</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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